Do you hear that? It's the winds of change.

These past few days, I've been seeing real change in myself. Staying active and aware in my thoughts has  become a constant now, and I don't see myself letting up on this habit any time soon. I know it seems like a rapid change, but it's also something I took notice of quite rapidly as well. I notice that I forget much less often and remember much more and I know that this is simply because I'm thinking.

This is one of the most crucial ways in which I can be K's good submissive. Above all things, He wants me to think. He doesn't want to have to keep a close and constant eye on me because I'm always forgetting crucial details and doing things that would close up her options. K wants a submissive who is prepared and able to come up with information and solutions on her own, so that she can help Him in His own endeavors. This is one of my goals as a submissive, and I am happy to say that I am progressing in this regard.

Last night, after I fulfilled my weekly punishment, K had me sit in Nadu for ten minutes to reflect on my daily mistakes. Instead of timing it for me, He had me guess how long it'd be. If I came out of it before 10 minutes was up, I would have to do it all over again. This and the fact that I was not used to sitting in Nadu for so long resulted in a big change of mind for me and did wonders for my submission.   I knew I had to change. I knew I had to make the most of my time with productive solutions. I felt badly that every week I had a punishment because I couldn't get it in my head that mistakes every day were not acceptable. The biggest sticking point for me has been that I have trouble choosing what is right over what is easy. So I let my pain in this position wash over me, focusing on how I was working for Him.  I remembered the good days of when I remembered everything and did everything I was supposed to, and made the image of this brighter. The result of 15 minutes of this ended up in me coming out feeling amazing, hopeful, and productive, and so much more K's. <3

I've been working on a surprise all evening, so I didn't get to turn this blog post in on time. It's amazing how fast time flies. I will accept my punishment though.